Episode 65
I “C” You as a Leader with Host Susan Ney | HR 65
Episode Intro:
Using metaphors from nature, and brilliant insights from leading authors, I share lessons and tools for your leadership toolkit through what I have found helpful in my own journey. We have fun with what I call the three “C” s of leadership evolution; these being Confidence, Curiosity, and Connection.
Interested in learning more? Hope you will join me!
About the Host:
Susan has worked with people all her life. As a human resource professional, she has specialized in all aspects of employment, from hiring to retirement. She got her start as a national representative for a large Canadian union. After pursuing an undergrad degree in business administration, Susan transitioned to HR management, where she aspired to bring
both employee and management perspectives to her work. Susan holds a Master of Arts degree in Leadership and Training. She retired from her multi-decade career in HR to pursue writing and consulting, and to be able, in her words, to “colour outside the lines.” She promises some fun and lots of learning through this podcast series.
Susan is also the author of the book Leadership Inside Out: Effecting Change from
Within available on Amazon – click below.
Leadership Inside Out: Effecting Change from Within: Ney, Susan G: 9781777030162: Books - Amazon.ca
If you wish to contact Susan, she can be reached through any of the following:
Website: Home - Effecting Change from Within
Email: susangney@gmail.com
Linked In: www.linkedin.com/in/susan-ney-197494
Facebook: www.facebook.com/susan.ney.5/
Phone: (604) 341-5643
Thanks for listening!
It means so much that you listened to this podcast! If you know of anyone else who might find this series of interest, please share. If you have questions about this episode, please send me an email at susangney@gmail.com
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Transcript
Hi, welcome to the podcast HR inside out I'm your
Susan Ney:host isn't a I've been reflecting on the topic of
Susan Ney:leadership lately and thought I'd share some of my ruminations
Susan Ney:with you. Let's have some fun with this. I call it I see you
Susan Ney:as a leader. With the sea in quotation marks, imagine
Susan Ney:yourself as a seed. Now I'm going to borrow from Peter
Susan Ney:sangai. In his excellent book, the bounce of change. Seeds
Susan Ney:require sunlight, Otter nutrients, and tending to become
Susan Ney:their very, very best version of themselves. They also need to be
Susan Ney:in the right location, shady for those who do best in shady
Susan Ney:locations and sunny for those who need to be them the golden
Susan Ney:rays. Over time, the seeds growing strength and presence
Susan Ney:doesn't happen overnight. The Acorn does not instantaneously
Susan Ney:become the mighty oak. It takes time and the right conditions.
Susan Ney:And in time, nature fates to produce new through the seeds
Susan Ney:sown through what's given back to the earth. Yes, I love
Susan Ney:metaphors. And I do believe that we can learn a great deal from
Susan Ney:nature. So today over the time that I have with you, we're
Susan Ney:going to use this metaphor and share a little bit about my own
Susan Ney:journey and learnings. Given that I'm in the autumn stage of
Susan Ney:my own life, loving this opportunity to throw seeds to
Susan Ney:the wind and provide something positive for the new you to
Susan Ney:grow, and perhaps take some nutrients from because
Susan Ney:leadership is a growth process. Or it can be if we're interested
Susan Ney:in that being that for us. So I'm going to take us through
Susan Ney:three growth stages, what I call the three C's. These being
Susan Ney:confidence, curiosity, and connection on our journey
Susan Ney:together today. I believe that each reflects the growth process
Susan Ney:that we go through in our careers and through our personal
Susan Ney:growth processes. Three C's, the first of which is the C
Susan Ney:representing confidence. The figuring out who we are, what
Susan Ney:our own core values are, where we want to go in our lives and
Susan Ney:have gaining the confidence within ourselves to reach those
Susan Ney:goals. I just finished reading Brene Brown's book Rising
Susan Ney:Strong, how the ability to reset transforms the way we live,
Susan Ney:love, parent and lead. She references a quote from Theodore
Susan Ney:Roosevelt's 1910 Man in the Arena speech which I'd like to
Susan Ney:share with you. It is not the critic that counts, not the man
Susan Ney:who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer
Susan Ney:of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to
Susan Ney:the man who was actually in the arena, whose face is marred by
Susan Ney:dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly. What the best
Susan Ney:knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at
Susan Ney:the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.
Susan Ney:Leadership is about daring greatly, and it is about being
Susan Ney:in the arena. And I really believe it understandings. It's
Susan Ney:about understanding you. It's the first habit of Stephen
Susan Ney:Covey, another wonderful author and his book The Seven Habits of
Susan Ney:Highly Effective People that are being proactive of taking
Susan Ney:responsibility for your life. Proactive people are driven by
Susan Ney:their own personal values. And that's about making sure that
Susan Ney:those values are aligned with those of the organization that
Susan Ney:you choose to share your talents with. Have you ever felt the
Susan Ney:lack of alignment between what you believed in and what you
Susan Ney:were being asked to do or perhaps where your organization
Susan Ney:was headed? Over time, and a disalignment really takes its
Susan Ney:toll. But building that first see that of competence. It's
Susan Ney:also about building the core elements of emotional
Susan Ney:intelligence, self awareness, social awareness, self
Susan Ney:management, and relationship management. Let's start with
Susan Ney:self awareness. So it's really emotional self awareness. It's
Susan Ney:being able to accurately self assess yourself. And it's about
Susan Ney:the self comp Next piece that builds on social awareness of
Susan Ney:building empathy, being able to step into someone else's shoes,
Susan Ney:organism, organizational awareness, we're going to talk
Susan Ney:about that a little bit later on, and a service orientation.
Susan Ney:Now self awareness, also built on self management, being able
Susan Ney:to self control, to be able to adapt your whole achievement
Susan Ney:drive and taking initiative, which also then contributes to
Susan Ney:relationship management. Being an inspirational leader,
Susan Ney:developing others, influencing being a Change Catalyst, being
Susan Ney:good at conflict management, building bonds, and building
Susan Ney:teamwork and collaboration is really important, because they
Susan Ney:allow us to be in tune with our emotions as they occur. And I'm
Susan Ney:borrowing from from Goldman's work. They help us manage our
Susan Ney:emotions in times of distress. They help us resolve challenges,
Susan Ney:overcome obstacles, they help us decrease our vulnerability,
Susan Ney:improve our relationships, and learn to set boundaries. They
Susan Ney:help us understand emotional signals, about the emotions of
Susan Ney:others perhaps, and they help us have I'm uncomfortable, but
Susan Ney:necessary conversations without invalidating our own feelings,
Susan Ney:or hurting others. And I mentioned Daniel Goleman, his
Susan Ney:book Emotional Intelligence, why it can matter more than IQ is an
Susan Ney:excellent reference. And any of the books that I cite, I will
Susan Ney:make sure are in the show notes. So the podcasts if you're
Susan Ney:interested in digging deeper. Daniel Goleman, has actually
Susan Ney:written a number of really excellent books on emotional
Susan Ney:intelligence. And yeah, it just, you can find out a little bit
Susan Ney:more. And there's also some free EQ emotional quotient tests on
Susan Ney:the internet just to kind of find out where you sit in the
Susan Ney:different quadrants, I found a quite interesting. Now
Susan Ney:continuing to build that sea of competence is also remembering
Susan Ney:that we have choice, we are so quick to judge. And when we fall
Susan Ney:into that judgment mode, we can so quickly get ourselves into
Susan Ney:the muck. Can anyone relate? We can merge back onto that, that
Susan Ney:choice road, the road of the learner mindset. And we can make
Susan Ney:better decisions as a result. Amy let's Marilee Adams, and her
Susan Ney:excellent book, change your questions change your life. And
Susan Ney:certainly that is exactly what happens. Just as an example. And
Susan Ney:she has an excellent map in her book. And I think you can
Susan Ney:actually get it by just going online. When you go into the
Susan Ney:learner mindset. You're you're asking what happened? What what
Susan Ney:do I want? What are the facts? What assumptions might I be
Susan Ney:making? And can I learn? You look at what could they possibly
Susan Ney:have been thinking? What were they feeling when perhaps they
Susan Ney:made a decision that you're having to look into? So the
Susan Ney:judge your mindset, on the other? The other hand, the one
Susan Ney:that we often walk down, hence to be whose fault was it? What's
Susan Ney:wrong with me? What have I done wrong? And then feeling yourself
Susan Ney:quite a failure. And certainly not necessarily being able to
Susan Ney:resolve the situation that you're trying to deal with.
Susan Ney:Barely talks about how important it is to just take a moment.
Susan Ney:This building competence of just having that competence to just
Susan Ney:stop and to do things like ask what happened? What assumptions
Susan Ney:are we making? I love Stephen Covey going again, in his book,
Susan Ney:The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People that he talks
Susan Ney:about is the power of the pause. So you've got something that
Susan Ney:happens a stimulus, and then you respond and oh my goodness, how
Susan Ney:quickly we just respond. We respond out of anger, we respond
Susan Ney:out of frustration. And if we can just take that moment to
Susan Ney:realize that the words that we're going to use can be taken
Susan Ney:back once they've been stated. It's again, having that
Susan Ney:confidence to just take it a little more slowly. And that's
Susan Ney:also an aspect of the cue of self management and emotional
Susan Ney:intelligence. We have the freedom to choose.
Susan Ney:And I raise these with you because I know that each one of
Susan Ney:us have responded to something and anger and, and wished times
Susan Ney:that we could have taken those words back or made a decision
Susan Ney:without truly considering the impact of whatever that decision
Susan Ney:would take an organization or ourselves. We've all done this,
Susan Ney:it's it's all about learning. But so important that we see
Susan Ney:those those times that we beat ourselves up and recognize that
Susan Ney:it is part of our learning. And it's necessary to take those
Susan Ney:first steps as leaders as Individuals wishing to make a
Susan Ney:positive influence and a difference in our lives, and
Susan Ney:that we're going to trip and fall just like those seedlings
Susan Ney:that are struggling to make their way through the soil. They
Susan Ney:need to work their way through a concrete pillar or, or to work
Susan Ney:around a rock, it is a growth process. For those mistakes,
Susan Ney:those times that what you gave wasn't quite enough, or it was
Susan Ney:really, really wrong. Or the report that we submitted was not
Susan Ney:what the boss wanted, they can become so stuck because of those
Susan Ney:internal voices, those those Gremlins, that can be pretty
Susan Ney:loud at times. Rick Carlson or Carson wrote an excellent book
Susan Ney:all about this. taming your Gremlin, like this, most of us
Susan Ney:have got more than one, the surprisingly simple method for
Susan Ney:getting out of your own way. Now let me show share a real life
Susan Ney:example, on my podcast with Stuart McNish, who's the
Susan Ney:producer of the very, very popular and fabulous
Susan Ney:conversations that matter. Shared that a comment by a high
Susan Ney:school teacher comment was that he would, if I remember
Susan Ney:correctly, would effectively never amount to anything, was
Susan Ney:something like that, or something that he couldn't write
Susan Ney:or it was just it was a really devastating comment, stayed with
Susan Ney:him for years. And in some ways, perhaps held them back from this
Susan Ney:that true belief that the B Co he has become at a recent high
Susan Ney:school grad reunion and heard that that same teacher had made
Susan Ney:a similar type comment to others. And how, I mean,
Susan Ney:everybody laughed about it. But obviously from the
Susan Ney:conversations, it has had a devastating impact, and had held
Susan Ney:people back from believing that they could be what they what
Susan Ney:they aspired to be. Some people are able to work through those
Susan Ney:those internal voices, those gremlins. But many others call
Susan Ney:those comments through their entire careers, and they aren't
Susan Ney:able to work through them. Don't let that don't let yourself be
Susan Ney:one of those people. Another person's opinion of you is just
Susan Ney:that it's their opinion. They're not you. They don't know you.
Susan Ney:And yet, we are so willing to let other people define who we
Susan Ney:are. We need to define who we are. Now, I'm going to turn to
Susan Ney:Byron Katie's work around this and her excellent book, loving
Susan Ney:what is the four questions that can change your life? I want you
Susan Ney:to think of the story that you might be telling yourself that
Susan Ney:might be getting in the way of you becoming or being your very
Susan Ney:best. Just take a minute. What story might you be telling
Susan Ney:yourself?
Susan Ney:And when you've got that, in your mind, I want you to ask
Susan Ney:yourself before questions that that Byron Katie poses that
Susan Ney:first of all, is it true? Now, Byron, Katie, talks about the
Susan Ney:need to start off with the foundational level of
Susan Ney:questioning our thoughts. And that the answer to that question
Susan Ney:needs to be clear yes or no. That we need to remain
Susan Ney:objective, while giving some thought to this question. And
Susan Ney:also to observe ourselves Are we trying to convince ourselves
Susan Ney:that it's actually true? If someone says to you that you're
Susan Ney:poor worker, or you have a poor attitude now, the second
Susan Ney:question is, Can you absolutely know that it's true? Now, if the
Susan Ney:answer to the second question is yes, you gotta keep digging. And
Susan Ney:we're guided to keep looking and seeing if it will reveal
Susan Ney:something to us if we can just continue to remain objective.
Susan Ney:Third question is, how do you react when you believe that a
Susan Ney:lot? And she cites them? And indeed, the question is
Susan Ney:extremely potent. Because think about the way you feel when you
Susan Ney:believe that thought. The thought that perhaps I'm not a
Susan Ney:good worker. What does that make you feel about yourself? Like,
Susan Ney:how do you how do you react with others when you think that
Susan Ney:thought of yourself? And as your she says, the third chain
Susan Ney:reaction that happens when you believe this thoughts such as
Susan Ney:addictions or cravings, do you run to the refrigerator for that
Susan Ney:wonderful bowl of Haagen Dazs ice cream? For last question,
Susan Ney:who would you be without that thought? And she continues, if
Susan Ney:you were able to go back in time and take a moment to reflect on
Susan Ney:the situation, again, relating back to question three,
Susan Ney:visualize who you would be without that thought, as the
Susan Ney:example, but you're not a good worker.
Susan Ney:Think about how you would feel about yourself. If you could
Susan Ney:think something different. How you could move forward without
Susan Ney:absorbing someone else's comment to you, our perception of you
Susan Ney:isn't likely true. We give people such power over
Susan Ney:ourselves.
Susan Ney:I believe that you're a lifelong learner, you wouldn't be
Susan Ney:listening to this podcast if you weren't still looking to learn
Susan Ney:the nuances of leadership and perhaps get some more solid to
Susan Ney:that to might help you in your own journey. There is always
Susan Ney:something new to consider. And I haven't yet met anyone,
Susan Ney:including myself, who isn't still struggling with telling
Susan Ney:themselves stories that get in our way of becoming the very
Susan Ney:best version of ourselves. The only way we can get better at
Susan Ney:this is to recognize that there are resources, like some of the
Susan Ney:books that I've I've mentioned, that can help us with, with
Susan Ney:these things that can help build our confidence. It is part of
Susan Ney:our evolutionary process as we grow in our leadership
Susan Ney:capabilities. And leadership is a muscle it needs to be built
Susan Ney:and it needs to be continually exercised. And none of that
Susan Ney:happens overnight. I'm going to move into the second sea of
Susan Ney:curiosity. And I believe that we've already kind of ventured
Susan Ney:into curiosity on our path so far, but it's time to go deeper.
Susan Ney:So the seedling you are growing. You as a leader are stretching.
Susan Ney:You've learned to reach for the sun, and you are working to
Susan Ney:become the very best that you have the capability of being.
Susan Ney:Now let's explore some of those critical nutrients that will
Susan Ney:help you present your vessel along the way. Okay, having been
Susan Ney:with this I too often see our unwillingness to dig deep. We
Susan Ney:are so good at dealing with issues on the surface rather
Susan Ney:than at the core. And as such things don't get resolved. And
Susan Ney:I'm certain that each of you can think of your own examples that
Susan Ney:because these situations these problems, the things that come
Susan Ney:up in our lives don't tend to go away unless we've dealt with the
Susan Ney:the root cause. I love the five why's it's a tool that
Susan Ney:encourages us to Keep asking questions to get to that route.
Susan Ney:Let me end with gratitude to the internet. I looked up a five
Susan Ney:why's example just to make it a little bit easier? So the car
Susan Ney:isn't working? Why isn't the car working? The battery's dead?
Susan Ney:First? Why? Why is the battery dead? The alternator isn't
Susan Ney:functioning. Second, why? Why isn't that? Why isn't the
Susan Ney:alternator working? Well, the belts broken. Well, why is the
Susan Ney:belt broken? Well, it was actually well beyond its useful
Susan Ney:service life and hadn't been replaced. Well, why haven't been
Susan Ney:replaced? Well, the vehicle wasn't maintained according to
Susan Ney:the recommended service schedule. There's your cause. So
Susan Ney:instead of just going, Oh, my car's dead. It's just this is a
Susan Ney:fun, fun simple example of just ask again, ask again, ask again,
Susan Ney:ask again. I think of labor relations situations where
Susan Ney:somebody is not presenting. Well, why? Why? Why? Why? I know
Susan Ney:it has been a helpful tool in my toolbox. And to somebody to
Susan Ney:remember, the deeper
Susan Ney:one of the areas that I often see, we don't dig deep enough is
Susan Ney:conflict within our organizations. But where on your
Susan Ney:work might be being more curious. And taking the time to
Susan Ney:dig deeper by applying these five why's that something you're
Susan Ney:challenged with? Perhaps it could be helpful. So you're
Susan Ney:maturing as a leader, you're, you're resolving, you're being
Susan Ney:creative, you are using your curiosity, and the seedling is
Susan Ney:growing. And as the same thing grows, there's going to be
Susan Ney:obstacles. So I'm going to talk about conflict. I think it's an
Susan Ney:important additional tool for your toolkit. Because I don't
Susan Ney:think we teach it well enough in school. And it's something that
Susan Ney:we really need to be comfortable with. I turned to Gary Harper's
Susan Ney:book, conflict resolution, the joy of conflict resolution,
Susan Ney:transforming victims and villains and heroes, in the
Susan Ney:workplace and at home. This stuff, when you do it well,
Susan Ney:positively impacts all aspects of your life. Now, Gary uses, he
Susan Ney:can think of a circle, problem person in the circle and then a
Susan Ney:triangle around the circle with a victim at one point, the
Susan Ney:villain at one point and hero at the third point. Gary talks
Susan Ney:about every conflict providing the opportunity for learning
Susan Ney:growth, and enhanced relationships. There we go.
Susan Ney:There's another V EQ core components. So the victim think
Susan Ney:of a princess, the villain, like a dragon, and the hero, Prince,
Susan Ney:you're going to some of the fairy tales. Fairy talks about
Susan Ney:as long as we see ourselves as the victim or a hero, we
Susan Ney:automatically create villains in our complex. And of course, the
Susan Ney:villain always feels victimized by us. theory also talks about
Susan Ney:how the role that we play continually shifts. You can be
Susan Ney:the hero one moment and then you're feeling the victim and
Susan Ney:then all of a sudden, yeah, you're playing various roles.
Susan Ney:What we need to do is we need to stay present. We need to listen
Susan Ney:to the things that we might disagree with. It's
Susan Ney:uncomfortable with that and to be prepared to see the quantum
Susan Ney:click through to real resolution. There's that digging
Susan Ney:deep again. We can choose when it goes back to Adams Adams
Susan Ney:mouth to view and approach our complex differently. Because see
Susan Ney:the other not as the villain, but as someone that we must work
Susan Ney:to identify and solve the problem with. And so by doing
Susan Ney:so, we move beyond the Drama Triangle and we move towards
Susan Ney:resolution. You Ariosto at the second C uncovers the other side
Susan Ney:of the story, and empathy, the ability to put ourselves into
Susan Ney:other people's shoes, again, going back to those EQ
Susan Ney:quadrants, build bridges. Because each one of us needs a
Susan Ney:sense of belonging and independence and recognition.
Susan Ney:Our need to feel respect is fundamental not to just thinking
Susan Ney:about how you would want to be treated by another person when
Susan Ney:you're dealing with a complex situation, extra long ways
Susan Ney:towards the positive resolution of that conflict. I have done
Susan Ney:very short work on on something that Gary's written an entire
Susan Ney:book about. But those those points are really important
Susan Ney:ones. And a good book that I would recommend to turn to just
Susan Ney:to the joy of conflict resolution, oh, my goodness, can
Susan Ney:you imagine resolving conflict now that seedling tends to need
Susan Ney:the big blue sky, it's reaching, it's reaching its its leaves and
Susan Ney:its stem. I want to talk about the big picture, otherwise known
Susan Ney:as systems thinking, to our toolkit to the nutrients of
Susan Ney:developing leadership, I was blessed to be able to attend a
Susan Ney:workshop on systems thinking. One of the exercises required us
Susan Ney:to become CEOs of an organization. And we then spent
Susan Ney:the next hour literally being thrown various situations that
Susan Ney:we had to deal with within budget, within collective
Susan Ney:agreement provisions within boundaries that were provided by
Susan Ney:our board, within all of the different constraints and
Susan Ney:realities that organizations need to manage with him. It was
Susan Ney:a huge eye opener for me. And from that point onwards, it
Susan Ney:helped me remember the broader context of actions that were
Susan Ney:being taken, and considerations that the organization the myriad
Susan Ney:of things that the organization contended with, and in its daily
Susan Ney:activities. And I don't recall where I read it. But there was
Susan Ney:this wonderful example of think of yourself as standing on a
Susan Ney:striped beach ball. No, you're standing at the top, your
Susan Ney:stripe, your colored stripe down the side is your department. And
Susan Ney:the other stripes are the other departments. Now, we tend to
Susan Ney:think only of our own strike right? About our needs or
Susan Ney:departments needs, you know, our our budget needs more, we're
Susan Ney:prepared to take away from someone else's budget. We need
Susan Ney:to remind ourselves and keep ourselves at the top of that
Susan Ney:ball, reflecting on how our actions impact each of the other
Susan Ney:departments. Let's talk about say a department decides to
Susan Ney:reorganize. There, you're likely going to need the help of your
Susan Ney:HR professionals, if you've got those in your organization. And
Susan Ney:other departments might also be impacted. Stakeholders like the
Susan Ney:union might need to be consulted. Have those
Susan Ney:departments been informed that you are going to need their
Susan Ney:resources their help? Do those departments have time or those
Susan Ney:are your needs are within part of their objectives that they've
Susan Ney:set for the upcoming year? Do they have the capability or the
Susan Ney:capacity to help you with what you're needing? The really
Susan Ney:important questions and again, it took years into my leadership
Susan Ney:journey before I really began to understand the impact of not
Susan Ney:taking that time. Not building those, those those allies of not
Susan Ney:building those relationships there we go back to those PQ
Susan Ney:quadrants. Something's going on in your toolkit. I also want to
Susan Ney:talk about how along the way, we begin to really understand the
Susan Ney:impact of the how we do things. How we have that conversation
Susan Ney:with someone about perhaps their body odor being of concern. How
Susan Ney:do we approach those other departments to share interest
Susan Ney:in, for example, understand undertaking a structural change.
Susan Ney:And remember that we're dealing with human beings. We work with
Susan Ney:human beings, not widgets. And work is only one aspect of very
Susan Ney:complex lives. And going back to Harper's conflict model, we all
Susan Ney:need a sense of belonging, independence and recognition.
Susan Ney:Our need to feel respect is fundamental. Remember to think
Susan Ney:about how you would want to be treated by the other person.
Susan Ney:Eric goes on to talk about to be heard and understood, to hear
Susan Ney:their story without interrupting or judging. To have options and
Susan Ney:choices is when we're presented with choices we do feel a sense
Susan Ney:of power, and more likely to accept final outcome because
Susan Ney:Choice allows us to save face and often decreases resistance.
Susan Ney:To given reasons, and so critical, to be treated fairly.
Susan Ney:As people overseers of us are so important, those four points.
Susan Ney:Maya Angelou reminds us, at the end of the day, people won't
Susan Ney:remember what you said or you did, they will remember by
Susan Ney:enabling feel. Okay, I am going to take us a different place, I
Susan Ney:want you to think of something that you have accomplished in
Susan Ney:your life that you're proud of something that was a stretch for
Susan Ney:you. Not only want you to give some thought to why you chose
Susan Ney:this particular example, and what you learned from the
Susan Ney:experience of something you've accomplished in your life, don't
Susan Ney:give it a ton of thought just what comes to your mind. Why Why
Susan Ney:was Why do you think that came to your mind? You think
Susan Ney:something you learned from experience?
Susan Ney:Why am I doing this? Because I think it's really important to
Susan Ney:remember that recognizing both your and your colleagues
Susan Ney:accomplishments is incredibly important. Make the time to
Susan Ney:celebrate milestones to applaud those baby steps forward. And
Susan Ney:remembering that whatever it was for you, it likely came through
Susan Ney:your own learning, falling down, dusting off those those knees
Susan Ney:and trying again. World Time. Give yourself a big pat on the
Susan Ney:back. No even better. How about applause How about a standing
Susan Ney:ovation? Okay, take a moment. I'm clapping I'm in the
Susan Ney:audience. You're being given standing ovation at the blood
Susan Ney:moment. Take a moment recognition, remembering,
Susan Ney:noticing, paying attention critical skills. Add them to
Susan Ney:your toolkit as a leader. And remember about your own as well.
Susan Ney:Celebrate your own accomplishments. The final CNR
Susan Ney:leadership journey is that connection at work and being
Susan Ney:part of teams, your organization, associations,
Susan Ney:groups, your families and friends, they are all important.
Susan Ney:And what do you do with the connections that You've nurtured
Susan Ney:over the years? And going back to Covey's Seven Habits book.
Susan Ney:There's so much within our organizations that we're
Susan Ney:concerned about and can start to feel victimized about but wonder
Susan Ney:what we can do about them. And he picture a circle with called
Susan Ney:circle of influence and the inner circle and then an outer
Susan Ney:outer circle around it that he calls the circle of concern.
Susan Ney:When we take a proactive focus on things We enlarge the circle
Susan Ney:of influence. Until that circle of concern that outer circle
Susan Ney:becomes smaller. When we take a reactive focus being the victim,
Susan Ney:oh, woe is me, don't ever listen to me. The circle of what we do
Susan Ney:is we reduce our circle of influence. And so the circle of
Susan Ney:concern becomes even larger. And we have influence. You have
Susan Ney:influence. You can choose to be proactive. How might you use
Susan Ney:your network? All of those different groups and people that
Susan Ney:I just listed out? Perhaps change a decision or influence a
Susan Ney:decision? Who might you know, who could be your ally? Have a
Susan Ney:conversation with them? Consider the concerns of the person who
Susan Ney:does have control that circle of concern that you're you're
Susan Ney:identifying with? How might you be able to help them and
Susan Ney:yourself or your own concern the same time a win win? And again,
Susan Ney:another Covey habit? How can you effectively use your network?
Susan Ney:Who could you reach out to partaking a different approach?
Susan Ney:Where have you done this already in your life? I keep not
Susan Ney:literally but I keep those circles in my back pocket. I
Susan Ney:always think of Circle of Influence circle if I call it
Susan Ney:control, because often it's where you don't feel that you
Susan Ney:can be in control or you don't have control over a situation
Susan Ney:have a constant circle of influence? How can you influence
Susan Ney:that situation most effectively? Don't be shy.
Susan Ney:Now, equally important on our journey of connectivity and
Susan Ney:connections, is doing our part to create work environments that
Susan Ney:are inclusive and feel inclusive. And includes working
Susan Ney:to be supportive of different groups of individuals.
Susan Ney:Diversity, Equity and Inclusion are three closely linked values
Susan Ney:held by many organizations that are working to create these
Susan Ney:environments. We should have had them all along, but we haven't
Susan Ney:includes people of different races and ethnicities, the
Susan Ney:city's ethnicity, goodness, gracious, ethnic ethnicities,
Susan Ney:religions, abilities, genders and sexual orientations. And I
Susan Ney:need some speech assistance. And I am pulling some wonderful
Susan Ney:material from McKinsey and Company and some of the articles
Susan Ney:that they've written on on inclusivity and diversity and
Susan Ney:equity. So diversity in the workplace gender diversity, what
Susan Ney:makes up the composition of men and women, non binary people in
Susan Ney:a given population? age diversity? Are people in the
Susan Ney:group, the mostly one generation or is there a mix of ages, we're
Susan Ney:seeing that increasingly in our work environments. Ethnic
Susan Ney:Diversity there, I should have just said this diversity of
Susan Ney:people at a group share common national or cultural traditions
Susan Ney:or that they represent different backgrounds. And then physical
Susan Ney:ability and neuro diversity are the perspectives of people
Susan Ney:disabilities, whether a parent or not, accounting for equity is
Susan Ney:interesting, and it's different from equality. And it refers
Susan Ney:refers to the fair treatment of all people so that norms,
Susan Ney:practices and policies in place to ensure that identity is not
Susan Ney:predictive of opportunities or workplace outcomes. Equity
Susan Ney:differs from equality in a subtle but important way. Where
Susan Ney:equality assumes that all people should be treated the same
Susan Ney:equity takes into consideration the person's unique
Susan Ney:circumstances, adjusting treatment accordingly so that
Susan Ney:the end result is equal. Here's a lovely diagram of children
Susan Ney:trying to watch a baseball game and instead of giving an equal
Susan Ney:sized box where the course the shortest child still can't see
Susan Ney:over the fence, the boxes are different crates, so all the
Susan Ney:children can actually see all the fence screen that was sent.
Susan Ney:That's a nice visual of what equity looks like. Inclusion
Susan Ney:refers to how the workplace experiences the workplace, the
Susan Ney:degree to which organizations embrace all employees, and
Susan Ney:enable them to make meaningful contributions. So let's often
Susan Ney:refer to the psychological safety people's feeling that
Susan Ney:they can speak up and feel heard. I did two previous
Susan Ney:podcasts that might deepen your understanding of interested. One
Susan Ney:was with IO o Dooney. On the Canadian immigrant experience,
Susan Ney:and I did one using Amy Edmondson his work on
Susan Ney:psychological safety, and they're both on in this podcast
Susan Ney:series. It also means bringing it all together over time and
Susan Ney:experience. And I love Steve Jobs and a commencement address
Susan Ney:book but his own humble beginnings and how he could
Susan Ney:never contemplated where his life would have taken him. And
Susan Ney:of course, his many accomplishments. He talked about
Susan Ney:how most of us envision our career paths being something
Susan Ney:quite different than they actually turn out to be. He
Susan Ney:calls it connecting the dots. Example, when I was at and I was
Susan Ney:working as a customer, service rep, ID, PC, tell now tell us,
Susan Ney:and I'd become quite involved in the Union mostly to please my
Susan Ney:father. Now as a result of that involvement, I got offered the
Susan Ney:opportunity to insist in a system a union organizing
Susan Ney:campaign back East. And from that I was eventually offered a
Susan Ney:national rep position with PNM. Now, I stayed with them for four
Susan Ney:years, after which I pursued a bachelor's degree in business
Susan Ney:men at Simon Fraser University. And then I began working in
Susan Ney:human resources, post graduation. I know that my time
Susan Ney:and the communication work as a candidate has absolutely made me
Susan Ney:a better HR professional. It just it's enabled me to have
Susan Ney:empathy, to be able to better stand in someone else's shoes
Susan Ney:and feel from their perspective what the situation might be.
Susan Ney:When I graduated from high school, working in either union
Susan Ney:or human resources, was not anything that I could have
Susan Ney:imagined on graduation. So saying yes to opportunities,
Susan Ney:this led to a really interesting array of dots. For me, helping
Susan Ney:your dots look like when it's time for you to look back. And
Susan Ney:what kinds of seeds will you have sowed along the way,
Susan Ney:leaving legacy and nutrients to help the seedlings thrive? Yes,
Susan Ney:we are at that third stage. Teaching others what could you
Susan Ney:be doing now for you. And for someone else who may be working
Susan Ney:to see where their own dots will be them it is all part of being
Susan Ney:a leader. Just like your choice to listen to those podcasts. And
Susan Ney:thank you for that. The nurse tree you know, those are there's
Susan Ney:a stump in the forest, which means there's the new growth
Susan Ney:that has been literally living off the nutrients of the tree.
Susan Ney:That's that's no longer there while we're still there. But
Susan Ney:anyways, to get the point. So ideas write a procedural manual
Susan Ney:to help others understand a word processor, perhaps create a
Susan Ney:video to help explain a technology technological feature
Susan Ney:that perhaps isn't used frequently. mentor someone, say
Susan Ney:yes to opportunities to speak to share your knowledge. How can
Susan Ney:you help differently? You never know who's like you're going to
Susan Ney:impact positively by doing this. I think of so many people that
Susan Ney:I've listened to over the years, I don't remember their names.
Susan Ney:But I do remember their messages. Like the keynote
Susan Ney:speaker. They talked about bringing her worst nightmare
Susan Ney:home with her to dinner and to her bad. Okay, I know all the
Susan Ney:eyebrows are raised. But we do that when we can't let go of our
Susan Ney:work problems when we come home at night, and that's all we can
Susan Ney:talk about at the dinner table. When we toss and turn and we're
Susan Ney:so plagued by our nightmare problems that we don't sleep we
Susan Ney:keep thinking and mulling over the situation. We do bring them
Susan Ney:to dinner with us and into our nighttime our attempts at sleep.
Susan Ney:Again, we can choose we can learn to leave that stuff where
Susan Ney:it belongs at work. Are ourselves and our loved ones,
Susan Ney:Han for and with us without the baggage. As leaders, we need to
Susan Ney:model this. We confused when we say one thing we do another and
Susan Ney:I know I've been bad for that. Because you're a leader. And no
Susan Ney:matter where you are in your own growth process, I hope that
Susan Ney:something that I've said has resonated with you. Because I
Susan Ney:believe in you. I believe that you have the capability to soar
Susan Ney:to become the very best version of you also know our world needs
Susan Ney:you. I appreciate the opportunity to share it and
Susan Ney:learned with you today. And as I mentioned before, all of the
Susan Ney:resources that I referred to are in the show notes to the
Susan Ney:podcast, if you're interested. I do indeed. See you as a leader.
Susan Ney:Starting with building your confidence. Having that see for
Susan Ney:curiosity, to continue to grow and to learn and then adding
Susan Ney:that important third, see those all important connections. It's
Susan Ney:time to fly. Have a great day everyone. It's Susan signing
Susan Ney:out. Hope you'll join me again next month. Bye for now
